Frolicking, the word in-and-of-itself means to be playful and have fun; yet in the case in point is more meaning, “to play in a frisky, light-spirited manner.” Frisky and Light-Spirited when dealing with finances is the recipe for conflict and confrontation.
Financial conflicts still rank and the number 1 cause for divorce in marriages. And why wouldn’t it be? Finances are what the world sees as making life happen or not happen! So if a person’s “claim” to their piece of the pie gets taken or removed unexpectedly; the hostility begins like a brewing volcano!
Picture the fuse:
The fuse representing the money you’ve worked hard and made; the match representing the desire for senseless buying. The desire drags across the grain of responsibility striking a fire that through SIN burns into a flame. This flame burns your desires into a wreck-less need for action ultimately striking the fuse and lighting afire your money to burn. Then, moment by moment, flicker by flicker, your money is frolicked into obscurity instead of designed for the purpose God intended for it in your life. Before you know it…..BAM!!!! it’s all gone and you are left with the ashes of a problematic brokenness that you need to live.
We feel entitled to spend. We are surrounded by numerous temptations to buy and consume the world’s market. Yet there is no honor in spending what God has blessed you with frivolously. Seeing that deal on the dollar rack, seeing that clearance sign flash in your eyes like neon, those coupons of free “cash” to a store that you “have to use“….is Satan’s ploy for you to fill a gap with something else you hold as important or desirable MORE THAN GOD!
Financial frolicking is why savings accounts hardly exist anymore and the importance of saving (or putting off one’s impulsive desires) isn’t instructed to our children! When a man and wife’s discussions about money are summarized by “We’ll Be Fine“….there’s a problem!! Effective communication of each others intentions for the finances and aspirations of where it will go is essential to defuse the match!
As the husband in this equation, it’s the most difficult for me when I am out working 12-14 hour days, “bringing home the bacon” and I’m not in control of the checkbook; this I don’t know most the time what’s going on with our finances. I know I make and bring home food money, but don’t see much of the fruits of my labor in the savings or balances of our bills going down! I know my wife pays the bills, some better than others, but our fuse is lit in frivolous spending making our contributions to the bills we’ve paid minimal. Why is this so frustrating you might ask??
We like to buy for ourselves, that is no secret…..who doesn’t? Yet when it comes to spending our “cushion” money or money from the savings; that in my opinion, is frolicking our money away! Allowing the fuse to continue to burn closer to the blowing up point! The blowing up unfortunately will be me…. 😦
So what’s the solution? Well, if I knew that directly I would be telling you that right now wouldn’t I? Each couple is different in how they view their finances, thus I am speaking solely for myself. My thoughts on own struggles is that we are two passionate people with two different emphasizes of how to manage it. I want to save….period. I want us to have a “have fun” fund if we wanna do fun things; yet I don’t want us to spend money on NON-NEEDEDitems unless we communicate it better. Now I’ll admit this openly….I haven’t been perfect at doing this. Like a pouting child, I at times (can’t believe I just called myself that!!) spend money on things without telling Amber due to my wanting to make her “know how it feels”. But this isn’t right and frankly isn’t helping the matters any. Yet I also can acknowledge openly that I have a fear to tell her how I feel anymore due to the automatic defensive response I get.
Money is truly the root of all evil in that we allow the evil within it to bare it’s roots in us! We can submit the authority of our money to Christ and be successful and glorify Him; yet it HAS to take Mutual Submission!
Mutual Submission ISN’T:
Mutual Submission IS:
Unless we share our hearts personally with one another (no fear of what’s said) we cannot gain mutual understanding about our goals and aspirations with our money. This will ultimately lead to a deepening commitment within the marriage and defuse the burning flame! Heart intimacy is there; maybe the flame needs to burn there instead!
If our hearts burn for money and the misuse of it, then the interpreted words of Eugene Peterson of The Message in Acts 8:20-23 would be a huge wake up call! “Peter said, “To hell with your money! And you along with it. Why, that’s unthinkable—trying to buy God’s gift! You’ll never be part of what God is doing by striking bargains and offering bribes. Change your ways—and now! Ask the Master to forgive you for trying to use God to make money. I can see this is an old habit with you; you reek with money-lust.” (Acts 8:20-23 MSG)”
In all, financial frolicking is dangerous. Using your money in a way not pleasing to The Lord let alone your spouse is a recipe for striking the match of SINFUL spending! I love my wife and appreciate her willingness to run our finances; however our submittance to The Lord and each other’s heart intimacy will truly help our finances grow how He intended!
Know your needs over your wants; know your desires over the absolutes and know The Lord as the LORD of your money! Give it all to Him who provides it all!! AMEN