Frustrated Fatherhood


“I inherited that calm from my father, who was a farmer. You sow, you wait for good or bad weather, you harvest; but working is just something you always need to do.”
–Miguel Indurain

No one ever said it would be easy; and most told me that I had it coming! Yet each time I look at that beautiful creation God has given Amber and I, I want to hug her and whip her bottom! It has amazed me lately how a 7-year-old can act like a ungrateful teenager!

This is not all the time, but I’m beginning to think that a monster is brewing and I has the lethal combination of my DNA mixed in! (You’re welcome honey!) lol

What do you do when you feel that all your efforts, disciplinary measures, discussions, guidance and redirectives have failed you? When you gently reinforce and get back talk and disrespect. When you have your best ally spending the most time with you and you stomp them verbally instead of hugging them thankfully?

My daughter, named Angel is not always by her namesake. Yet she is an intelligent, beautiful and talented young lady who just likes to stir us up! I’m a frustrated Daddy!! A daddy broken hearted over the actions done behind my back to my partner, my wife and her mother! If we followed through on all the threats we’ve made in frustration; she would have no toys, no nice clothes, no books to read, no mouth to talk out of due to all the duck tape it’d have on it!

But….when you love someone enough and you realize through the heightened emotions that she is just a kid….a 7-year-old kid…..then the grace abounds in hopes a lesson through guilt is learned. I pray so much for my daughter to snap out of this behavior, yet it doesn’t happen for more than a day.

Amber and I have worked hard on trying to rear her appropriately. Yet, the efforts left us feeling defeated. Every normal response is a whine about what she isn’t getting or getting to do. How has it come to this? Where have we gone wrong??

Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, so that you do not forget the things which your eyes have seen and they do not depart from your heart all the days of your life; but make them known to your sons and your grandsons.Deuteronomy 4:9

We sometimes forget who our lives and our souls belong to. In return for that forgetfulness, our hearts are led astray when it comes to our children. God is the God of our parental skills and I’d we don’t prayerfully submit them to Him daily or even hourly….Satan will sneak in and gain the glory.

The other area we tend to fail in is giving all the directives to our glories and blessings too God! “…make them KNOWN to your children.” means you tell them over, and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and….(Get the picture?). How will they truly fall in LOVE with Christ in their young lives if WE don’t teach them and REFLECT His greatness in our own lives!!?? If all they hear from us (which we are guilty of) is negative, complaining about life….WHERE IS THE TRUST IN CHRIST we know in our hearts??

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, BUT NOW (emphasis mine) they are holy.1 Corinthians 7:14

The Apostle Paul is emphasising that the husband and wife (Father & Mother) are accountable to each other! If one fails, we all fail and the end result is children become “unclean” or in laymen’s terms….they will stray away from the gift of a loving, intimate relationship with our Lord. Now….as Paul emphasises….they are holy….so as parents we must treat them as such…a GIFT from God:

Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward!Psalm 127:3

Lord, please guide and bless us parents who read this and struggle to stay calm when needed; stay focused as directed by you; and show unconditional love and guidance like you do us sinful parents. Make our smiles shine like your spirit, our hearts beat with love in our responses and our ears hear your still small voice of peace when we feel in darkness. In JESUS name I pray…..AMEN.


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